— Overheard at UChicago (via uchicagoadmissions)
There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions."
yes but there’s also
- 'I'm hella sick but not old enough to purchase cough medicine and that sounds really pitiful coming from a college student but would you please go buy me some NyQuil???’ au
- 'We made a bet at the beginning of the laser tag game to see who was better and guess who won. It's time to pay up.' au
- 'Who keeps using my wifi?' 'Literally everyone, your password is hella easy to guess.' au
- Tried to unlock the wrong car in the parking garage au
- 'I'm on the FBI's most-wanted list for killing a fuck ton of people, but calm down I just wanna date you bc your face is v smoochable and you give me butterflies.' au
- See also; ‘Dating a most-wanted serial killer and never getting a heads-up before they come home covered in blood so you’ve gotta be ready to draw the curtains and hide a body every time you hear a car pull into the driveway’ au
- 'We really should not have played Monopoly' au
- Life-sized version of Clue in the old manor on the hill au
- 'I originally followed you on Instagram bc you're hot and I'm thirsty but now I've developed actual feelings for you bc you're a genuinely good person' au
- 'Fuck me you're cute why did we have to meet on the one day I decided to stay in my sweats??' au
- 'I went to the bar last night bc I just got dumped and wanted to drink away my pain but then one thing lead to another and somehow I broke into your house thinking it was mine and now I can't find my left shoe but are those waffles I smell?' au
- 'I saw that you were reading Eleanor and Park have you gotten to the part where she leaves him and if so can we talk about it because not a lot of people have read this book and I need a shoulder to cry on.’ au
- 'You passed out in Disneyland and I've been taking care of you for the past two hours oh my god are you okay??' 'Yes I'm okay but who the hell are you supposed to be?' 'I'm the face character for Peter Pan but that's not important' au
- 'I don't really know you but I noticed that this creep has been trying to chat you up even though you've already turned him down, so I'll pretend to be your boyfriend/girlfriend until they leave you alone.' au
- Bonnie and Clyde au???
- Attend same-sex privet schools that are right across the street from each other au
- Masquerade au
- 'I don't like you and you don't like me but our best friends just died in a car crash and left their one-year-old daughter in our custody so now we've got to act civil and end up falling for each other' au
- [Basically a Life As We Know It au]
- 'Found your number inside of a library book that looks like it hasn't been checked out in ages and decided to text you to see if it worked au
- 'The biggest rule of immortality is to not get involved with mortals but whoops I was in a coffee shop one day and fell in love with you and now I'm freaking out bc in the grand scope of things we don't get a lot of time together but fuck no please don't leave me not yet no.’ au
- 'I just moved into the apartment next door and I am 100% sure that it's haunted bc this building used to be a hospital and anyway I heard I noise coming from inside the walls can I please just crash here for the night?' au
- 'I know that you're really into school and probably don't want to risk your spot on the college football team, but would you mind if I smoked in our dorm room??' au
- Followed by ‘Nah, I don’t care, as long as I can shotgun some smoke from that pretty little mouth of yours.’ au
wow that got sexual and I am not sorry.
- Went to the beach for the first time au
- Ancient Rome au
- Rival team captains who know nothing about personal space and constantly get into fights where they end up face-to-face every single game until one day one of the coaches yells at them to either kiss or get back to the game au
- 'Hey, so I might have just robbed a bank right now and I kind of need a getaway car, would you pleeeeeaaase help me I can pay you back in sexual favors but also cash.' au
- 'I know that you don't know me, but you were on the receiving end of my girlfriend/boyfriend's heart donation and being around you kind of makes it feel like they're still here I'm sorry if that's kind of weird.' au
- 'Shit I wasn't watching where I was walking and ended up spilling my Rockstar all over your white sweater I'm so sorry here have my jacket.' au
- Caught yelling at Go, Diego, Go in the hospital waiting room and after an awkwardly long period of silence the other person joins in bc they’ve got nothing better to do with their waiting time au
- 'The person living in the apartment across the wall to mine is a nymphomaniac and yeah okay they're p hot but it's v hard to write an essay on feminism when all I can hear is sexual screaming.' au
- It’s three am, I just wanted some clam chowder, and some how I ended up on Hollywood Bl. can you please tell me where a good restaurant is I think I’m going to cry.’ au
- 'Fuck my ex just walked into the restaurant with their new girlfriend/boyfriend could you pretend we're dating so they don't think I'm hung up on them I swear I'll pay you later.' au
- 'I work at the daycare that you drop your daughter off at every week and she got me sick.' au
- 'So I know we just met but it's raining and my tent has a hole in it, could I sleep in your camper with you?' au
- 'Okay okay okay I know we're just friends and I don't want anything to change that but I may have told my mom that we're dating so she would stop trying to set me up with people would you be up to going to my sister's wedding as my plus one so my mom won't know I lied?' au
- 'Hit me, we're on college campus and you'll have to pay for my tuition' au
- 'Your headphones aren't plugged in all the way so that hardcore porn fic you've been listening to for the past ten minutes has been broadcasting through the bus on full volume.' au
- The Breakfast Club au
- Wimbledon [the movie] au
- West Side Story au
- 'Constantly getting confused as the girlfriend/boyfriend of the lead singer for a heavy metal band bc I'm always going to concerts and getting backstage passes but I've never even met the lead singer until the day he/she got drunk and we hooked up in his/her tour bus [whoops now we're actually dating shh]' au
- 'It's two am, we're standing outside of our apartment building bc someone pulled the fire alarm, and you look cold and unprepared, do you want to share my blanket?' au
- Heartache On The Big Screen au
- Breakfast At Tiffany’s au omg pls
- 'The zombie apocalypse started two years ago I can't believe I still have to work at this fucking book store.' au
- Long Way Home au
- We like each other but our dogs don’t so I’m going to have to ask you to stop taking this walking route you attractive fucker’ au
- 'Sometimes, your soulmate and the love of your life don't end up being the same person. And that's something I had to learn the hard way.' Au
self diagnosing is so hard because everytime you’re like “maybe I am mentally ill” theres also a big part of you going “nah you’re probably just a naturally lazy/nasty/disgusting/useless person trying to find an excuse for your behavior” because of the institutionalized ableism that runs through everything
So go to the doctor and get an actual diagnosis?
Why don’t poor people just buy more money?